The Dementor's Kiss
by truthsetfree
Summary: What happened before Harry and Hermione turned back time and saved Sirius? In an alternative timeline, Sirius faces the Dementor's kiss at dawn. Disclaimer: Anything you recognize does not belong to me. RLSB.
1. Chapter 1

The Dementor's Kiss  
Inspired by: Grace, as sung by Paddy Reilly  
Summary: What happened before Harry and Hermione turned back time and saved Sirius? In an alternative timeline, Sirius faces the Dementor's kiss at dawn.  
Other notes: tense switching. Remus' POV is written in past tense. Sirius' POV is written in present tense.  
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I do not own her stuff.  
Feedback: Will be held.

Remus' POV:

"Sirius."  
He was in the farthest corner of the room, knees drawn up, shaggy head down. At the sound of my voice, he looked up, eyes filled with tears and denied hope.  
"Remus. How are you here?"  
His voice was raspy, but his aristocratic articulation remained.  
"Dumbledore."  
I could barely say the name. My throat kept threatening to close.  
"Ah."  
His real question was 'why are you here?' But he didn't ask.  
I stared into those eyes. I wanted to see the love we'd both killed.  
A bell chimed, and I turned towards the sound. His eyes followed mine with a shudder that rippled through his tattered robe. Half an hour, then the sun would rise, a signal would be given, and two "vicious beasts" would be killed.  
The Aurors were already there. Outside. Guarding every possible exit. Twenty of them. The Dementors were locked away somewhere, until it was time.  
"I love you."  
He said this with finality. I thought it was his version of Goodbye.  
"I love you too."  
I said it through clenched teeth, because grown men don't cry.  
"We have a little time left," I offered.  
"Minutes," he replied, looking down.  
He picked at a thread.  
That used to mean he wanted to ask something embarrassing. Something that left him vulnerable.


	2. Chapter 2

The Dementor's Kiss  
Inspired by: Grace, as sung by Paddy Reilly  
Summary: What happened before Harry and Hermione turned back time and saved Sirius? In an alternative timeline, Sirius faces the Dementor's kiss at dawn.  
Other notes: tense switching. Remus' POV is written in past tense. Sirius' POV is written in present tense.  
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I do not own her stuff.  
Feedback: Will be held.

Sirius' POV

It's dark in here. Probably cold, but I can't feel it. Still my body shakes.  
I failed. We all failed.

I was sick that night. I was in bed with a fever when James called for me. I rushed, but I was too late. I failed to save them. I failed to exact vengeance. I failed tonight again. Remus, he was amazing, as always. And Harry, with his mother's eyes and his father's heart, if he survives…  
Remus. He's here. Somehow. He can't be here, but impossibly, he is.

I say his name half expecting him to vanish, and ask him how.

Dumbledore. Not a smart political move for an old man no one wants to believe anymore. I guess that means he knows.

He looks in my eyes, and it's hard to meet his gaze. Once upon a time I thought those eyes could see my very soul.

The bell chimes and he turns toward it. Half an hour.  
Half an hour until the Dementor "kisses" me, and inhales the soul I thought he saw.

"I love you."  
The words come suddenly, without hesitation. It won't matter if he doesn't say them back. In a matter of minutes, nothing will matter to me anymore. I'll be nothing. No afterlife for me. No apologizing to James and Lily where they can really hear me. No Regulus or Andromeda. No foolish ghost that tears through the corridors causing mayhem like James and I used to joke about when we were lads. Peeves even got in on that one. Said he'd be honored if we joined him.

"I love you too."

"We have a little time left."  
"Minutes."

I pick at a loose thread, and try to find the courage to say the stupid weak words that will make him hold me. I need to feel those strong arms, warm against my not cold skin. I want him to hold me like he used to after we…

And suddenly he's on the floor with me and his arms are stretched around me. As strong and warm as I remembered. And I could let myself believe, if I just close my eyes, that I am not here, that it has not come to this.

We're in bed together, and Lily and James are still alive. And none of us suspect eachother. And none of us are traitors. And I haven't failed. And the blankets are warm and thick. And the sun is pouring through the window. And the room smells like sandalwood and sex. And he's holding me in his sleep, tightly.

The last bell tolls, and the first hints of copper seep through cracks and streak against the gray stones.

The Aurors are here to take me away. I begin to stand, and he turns, shielding me. I know those shoulders. I know what the crackle in the air means. I can't let him do it. I put my hand on his shoulder.  
"Remus. No. Protect Harry."  
He bows his head. The crackling fades a bit.  
"Promise me."  
"I promise." He doesn't want to say those words. The air is thinner.  
"Goodbye."  
I let the Aurors lead me, roughly, and then it comes time for the kiss.

I stare into that rippling hood. But I am not here. It has not come to this.  
I'm in bed with Remus, and Lily and James are still alive…


End file.
